24

So on Wednesday I turned 24. Time flies and I can still remember my 20th birthday. It was Friday and in the evening I was leaving to my hometown. I can still remember what I was wearing and that My Parents bought me a lovely set of pyjamas at Oysho. It was much warmer that this year, my optician sent my birthday wishes (and gently reminded I hadn't paid them a visit since 2008) and I had my nails painted minty green. I pampered myself with a limited EURO 2012 edition of Müllermilch and was more than happy to receive birthday wishes on Facebook. 

Over the years my attitude towards social media changed completely and I even thought of blocking other people from posting things on my Facebook wall. I relized how little wishes from some people mean to me (especially when your close friends do nothing more and just write these two words as I they were entering their credit card number. Yeah, I know it sounds rude and many people may fee offended but since I had stopped wishing everyone Happy Birthday, it felt as if a burden had been lifted off from my schoulders. Of course it only takes a few seconds to write some nice words and make someone's day special. But at the same time it creates some sort of an unhealthy relation between the giver and the recipient. When you wish someone all the best, you hope for something in return shall the right time come. And when you're not even spared a little thought, you most probably end up dissapointed that false friends exist not only in your Polish-English disctionary. However funny that sounds, I had witnessed this way too many times before tightening the circle of friends to some reasonable minimum. 

I've never been really sociable, crowds freak me out and social anxiety is something I wish I knew only from books. But I have always had a few hundreds of Facebook friends whom I used to collect like stamps and later have long forgotten. Welcome to the first world problems in the 21st century! Some weeks ago I made this elite much smaller only to realize I have no idea who some of this people are. It had never been easier to unfriend someone. Even those who used to be my really close pals some years ago. Or maybe it was just me thinking I had found friends?

I don't want to sound sentimental but the older I get, the lesser my need to fit into someone's idea about me. Once a guy told me I would be a very good politicianbecause I could wear tight skirts and shirts showing my boobs and ass. Right, I know, in the Kardashian era big asses may help win arguments but will never fill brain with knowledge, intelligence and eloquence. It was probably the very first time in my life when I felt pretty much offended. I had always wanted to be prsised for what I have to say, my ideas and achievements, not necessarily for what I got with my genes. Looks fade but what's inside is gonna stay with us forever and that's why I pay more attention to my spiritual development than my dream Louis Vuitton bag (which I'm probably never going to own cause I'd much rather buy all the marvellous art albums I saw last week). Anyway, this guy made me so mad that I must have written something rude (read: demanded fundamental human rights in my eyes but he definitely saw thiss differently while I asked to be treated as something more than someone's object of forever unfulfilled sexual desires) cause his response wasn't nice either. From his words I found out I may be excellent only in bed (and he didn't mean sleeping for hours) and I'm perfect for fucking but nobody's ever gonna date me, not to mention falling in love with me cause my character is so terrible that nobody in the world would ever be able to stand it. By the way, don't you find it ironic that 3 years later it's me who's in the most amazing relationship one can ever imagine, have the most productive time in my entire life and see myself as a still unfinished masterpiece while this guy is still single and living his boring life somewhere in the world?

After 24 years of my existence, I can poudly say that everything I achieved in life has come from my wisdom, knowledge, intelligence and hard work. I have never taken the easy way and definitely never counted on my looks. Even though My Baby Boy names me the most beautiful woman in the world, he had seen much more in me than meets the eye. After all I brought books to Our first date :)

So, as I've just turned 24 I hope that for the next years of my earthly existence I'm gonna be surrounded by good people and vibes only. And that I finally manage to read all the books from my bucket list.